I once began to write the story of a girl with superpowers who also dealt with anxiety. This was an excellent character for me to write as I have always wanted to save the world and this can feel impossible with anxiety. But today, I learned more about her story and who I want her to be.
As I struggled to make it out of my apartment and down to a coffee shop to write this, I pictured her. Even with her amazing powers, she too would struggle with something as simple as this. But she learns how to cope and how to celebrate the small victories, even if it’s just getting out of bed and changing clothes.
Her preferred method of celebrating/coping? Cake. She is an incredible baker and loves creating intricate art with her decorating skills. What does this have to do with her superpowers? Absolutely nothing. But it has everything to do with helping her deal with anxiety.
For those without anxiety, especially social anxiety, you may not relate to her. You may not relate to my happy “I got out of the house today” text to my fiance. But thinking of her creation and situations such as the one I experienced today reminded me of the importance of representation in media.
How powerful would it be to read about a super powerful woman with the ability to take down villains who struggles with the same illness as you? Who is hampered in exactly the same aspects as you?
Thinking about these things reminds me why I love writing and why I will keep writing, no matter how I pay the bills. I want to see myself in stories and I want others to see themselves.
In my story, Maria wanted to be anything other than a superhero. Her ideal life is to pay bills, see her therapist, and make inordinate amounts of cake with occasional visits from her best friend Juniper. With anxiety, who wants to draw that much attention to yourself? However, due to some unfortunate events and her sheer power, she is recruited by a superhero organization to fight crime. But on the first fight, Maria freezes. She panics. She becomes terrorized and her colleagues suffer because of it.
She believes she can’t do anything because of her anxiety.
Initially, I wanted her to learn that her anxiety can’t stop her from being great. I wanted her to overcome her anxiety and be unafraid to face her problems. Today, however, I was reminded of something else.
“She believes she can’t do anything because of her anxiety.”
The point of the story shouldn’t be that Maria “overcomes” anxiety, but that she learns it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to be anxious, and it’s okay if the only person she can save is herself.
Perhaps her anxiety will even be the only thing that allows her to defeat the villain.
One day I will bring her story to life (perhaps sooner than later because I am terrible at working on one project at a time) so I can teach her, and through her others, to celebrate the small victories, even if it’s just walking out of your apartment. I’d like to think that the flashy end for Maria I had planned with soothe into a small victory for herself. And definitely some cake.
So today, remember you don’t need to be a world-saving, bad-guy-smashing Maria to be of value to the world. You are valuable and valid even if the only person you save is yourself.
And that my friend, is the number one reason to make cake today.